The Strategist

Ichak Adizes: Why We Marry, Why We Need a Purpose in Life and How to Cope with Bad Habits

08/07/2015 - 16:27

The world-famous business consultant Ichak Adizes can give valuable advice not only in the field of business. In his book "Insights on Personal Growth" he discusses personal themes with the reader. His notes and essays about love, marriage, the meaning of life and many other things - a really useful food for thought. Here are a few extracts from the book.

Ed Schipul
Ed Schipul
The devil is in the bustle

The fussier our everyday life, the less there is love. But everything falls apart without love in human life. Therefore, just moderate speed to have start. There are those who do exactly the opposite: in the pursuit of success, they work more and more, hoping that this race will bring them happiness. This is fundamentally wrong. It's time to change tactics. And the sooner, the better.

No wonder Islam states: "The devil is in the vanity." Have you met ever a man who fell in love when catching a bus or sticking 80 hours a week? Usually people fall in love on vacation, walking along the beach at sunset, dinner by candlelight to the accompaniment of light music. Change the pace of life to be happy.

The main asset is a marriage

Love can neither be bought nor sold. Affection, attention, sex - it's all available on the market, all bought and sold. But it is not a feeling of deep, real, genuine unity, the true belonging to each other. It cannot be bought anywhere else. There is no love potion that can bring you this feeling.

Love does not come from the outside. It arises from within and is the most important characteristic of the relations that we call marriage. This is its most valuable asset. All other reasons for marriage are transient. Children grow up and leave home. Money comes and goes. Friends are scattered around the world. What will we get in the end? Why save a marriage if there is no more love? Clean. True.

The purpose of life

To live a healthy life, you must have a purpose. Austrian psychiatrist Viktor Frankl wrote well about this in his book "Man's Search for Meaning". He came to the conclusion that in a concentration camp, a prisoner of which he was, those who had the raison d'ĂȘtre and the reasons to fight for life, were able to survive.

In addition, we know from many medical sources (as well as from personal experience) that people, aspiring to a goal and building plans for the future life, are more easier to tolerate the disease than those who gave up and lost interest in existence. Without a purpose in life, we quickly grow old, lose energy and thirst for life.

Notice the health of those who have retired with no plans for future life. It is deteriorating rapidly. Making money and career already makes no sense. The children have grown up and are independent. What is to come up with? Do not try to escape with the signature on the check, nothing happens. Take your time. Suppose you have a reason to get up in the morning.

Energy Diet

Ask any person what gives more strength - meat or vegetables. More likely, the answer will be meat. People believe that the meat gives more energy because it has more calories than vegetables. However, if you apply a business approach, it becomes clear that the credit is not revenues but earnings, and therefore we have to consider the costs.

The diet works the same principle as in the business world: the meat gives a lot of energy, that's for sure, but think about how much energy is required to digest and assimilate? How much of the energy you will get in the end? Almost nothing. That's why after we are so sleepy a heavy meat meal. On the contrary, vegetables are low in calories, but also digesting them requires way more resources, which leaves the excess of energy at your disposal.

How to resist temptation

In one experiment, three groups of people in turn were invited into the room with chocolate cake. The first group was reminded of the sense of guilt that they experience when eating cake. The second was proposed to think about how they will be proud of his strength of will, if they can resist the temptation. The third group did not get any instructions at all. The result: those, to whose pride appealed the experimenters, ate less.

Conclusion: pride helps resist temptation. Shame and guilt absorb the forces necessary to fight the temptation. On the other hand, pride gives the energy that fuels the will to resist. This fact has an impact on the resistance of such a common human weakness today as overeating, leaving things from day to day and laziness.

What instructions may come

The higher the rate of change, the greater the uncertainty, the more people in need of instructions indicating how they should behave. Simple rules, simple guidelines, giving a sense of security and confidence. Hitler took advantage of it in due season.

Modern people tend to precise statements. They do not want to think and live in conditions of uncertainty, which pushes the constant search for solutions. They seem to say, "Just tell me what to do, give instructions, I do not want to think." Because people follow instructions blindly, they default to the extreme. Of course, simple rules, taken to extremes, lead to results opposite to the chosen target.

based on Insights on Personal Growth by Ichak Adizes

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