The Strategist

Seven features of a fascinating conversationalist

05/01/2017 - 06:17

Charm is a quality that helps to achieve more in any area of life, be it business, or private life. Most people simply cannot resist a natural charisma. But is it ever possible to cultivate a charm? And what do you need to become a magnetic personality?

Chip Griffin via flickr
Chip Griffin via flickr
One of the compelling qualities of a charming person is being an effective communicator. Below we collected seven small remarks on what qualities an ideal partner in conversation should have.

1. Active listening

Many people believe that active listening is to silently follow speech of another person. This is not quite true. Active listening means that you are focused on your interlocutor’s words.

If you pretend that you are listening, most likely, your interlocutor will notice it. Therefore, try to hear your company, delve into their words.

2. Sympathize

Use statements that demonstrate your sympathy for your interlocutor’s feeling. Your companion should feel that you understand them. True sympathy always wins the favor.

3. Avoid unpleasant topics

If you want to please the person you are talking to, avoid unpleasant topics in the conversation. Negative feelings of the interlocutor can affect their attitude towards you.

4. Do not talk nonsense

Empty chatter does not encourage sympathy, but, on the contrary, repels the interlocutor. If you are talking about some idle things, your interlocutor may decide that you are silly, or that you consider them a fool.

5. Stop talking about yourself

All people like to talk about themselves. Yet, one of the main secrets of charisma is the ability to switch focus from oneself to your interlocutor. Stop talking about yourself. This is boring.

6. Do not complain

Do not talk about your problems with an unfamiliar person, and do not complain about your husband, wife, children, neighbor, boss, etc. Your interlocutor has enough of their own shoulders, they do not need even more negativity in life.

7. Watch for emotions

All people are different, that's why we have different emotionality. Someone has it higher, and someone - lower.

Therefore, it is not necessary to sink your interlocutor in a sea of emotions, some people get tired of it. The conversation should be moderately emotional, then you will leave a pleasant impression.

Based on 'The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over' by Jack Schafer and Marvin Karlins

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